It's always darkest before the dawn.

It's always darkest before the dawn.

Sometimes, change happens when we least expect it. Like this time, when I was still so broken-hearted and devastated about the things that happened to me the past few weeks. Suddenly, after the worst encounter ever, there comes someone who seems to be what I've been searching for all the time. The most considerate, adorable one and a person who I might soon learn to love with all my heart. Although I've grown cautious over the years, this might just be it. I can't wait to be with him again. No matter how sad and hurt I am, the thought of him near me just brightens up my darkest moments. Now I'm just trying to be patient enough. Keep your fingers crossed.

Just remember that nothing's made to last

That too will pass.

Life is swaying me. Falling in and out of love, constantly, spontaneously. Something is missing. It might be real, genuine love. I must allow myself to let things pass, and most of all, time. Making out with three people in just one week is not a good idea when you're not sure where to put your emotions. Especially when you then decide to give a little bit of them to each of those. Several pieces of my heart broke, the great sadness came back and now I'm thriving. How invigorating the experience of an upcoming evolving can be, and how paradoxical that is! I keep those sharp blades in my nightstand, just in case. I know they still are what makes me feel most alive.

Fate is an elegant, cold-hearted whore

She loves salting my wounds - she enjoys nothing more.

There's something else I need to accept: The best things happen unexpected. They really do. There should be more nights of the "I don't want to go out but I can't stay here either, so let's just give it a try" kind. Last night was one of those. So worth it. I wish I could go back in time and just have another one. Well, the weekend's over. The dancing, the kissing, the grooming, the singing. All of this is going to make the week so much better for me. It occurs to me that I'm about to finally change dramatically. Look at me still talking when there's science to do - when I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you.