I know how they used to sing about me.

She's ugly but she loves her face,

She loves her so-called style,

I see her standing next to me,

I hate to see her smile.

Her curly hair, her angry look, 

that twinkle in her eyes,

The chest she moved, the head she shook,

a devil in disguise.

A slap to her cheek, punch to her chin,

See the dropping glass!
My eyes they narrow, fill with tears,

My hands are full of scars,

"You hit the mirror! Dumb and blind,

And now you see, it's true,

That ugly girl, the one you mind,

That devil, it was you.

"A sea of blood and tears to your feet,

Drown in your own hate!

This self-hatred, it killed your heart,

To see this was your fate."

And nothing can be taken back

By nothing I can see,

I'll kill the one I hate for life - 

And this night, that is

me.

(01/2009)

Om du lämnade mig nu

Jag skulle vakna mitt i natten och gå upp och ta en lång promenad.

I can only pretend to know what love is like.I mean, I do like him. I like a lot of people. Then again, I loathe a lot more. I'm just thinking that if this is love, if this is the ultimate feeling of all, what is there left to long for? It causes more pain than pleasure, it forces me to cry at night and try to hide from those who might get worried.

I am not content with this life any more. I don't think I've ever been. With time passing by, it's easier to forget though. It's like walking a very long way for years, forgetting where it was going to lead you. You just don't get anywhere. You think you're feeling it, you think you know exactly what it should be like. You're wrong. The way won't lead anywhere, there's nothing left for you to find out in this entire world. You're on your own, possibly forever. And even if not, you will still have to die on your own. Nobody can save you. Nothing can. As one of the greatest artists ever said in one of his most famous plays: "It is a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury - signifying nothing."

So long, good night.