Some things change so quickly

that they make the world collapse.

Only about two weeks after I wrote that last entry below, she was diagnosed with a - supposedly - deadly disease. This has made me think about life and death, more than I usually do anyway. I've been pondering quite a lot and I am yet thankful for this as it took me back to what's actually important in life. I'm also glad I have such wonderful friends who have been trying to comfort me and make me feel better. In addition to that, there's been a change in the weather, which is quite unusual for where I live now. It used to rain for weeks, now there's just so much snow I can barely step out of the house. Everything is so incredibly dead but with all the sparkling snow on them, things look totally different and seem to somehow contain a strange sort of beauty. I have been feeling lost. I have been feeling worthless and so very mediocre. And yet I know, if there's things that are worth to live for, I have probably seen them.