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Du är så vacker.

You're one of the very few things that keep me alive. You're both the worst and the best I've ever had. Our days were perfect, our nights were strange. You let me have perfect and weird conversations, you made me feel special. Your skies are the most beautiful on earth. Thanks for an amazing time. I'm in love with you. And I will return.

Föbsi Jones and the Purpose of Light

Aletheia 010713.

The world is spinning so much faster. I'm getting old. We all are.
No - wait. I didn't mean to sound just as weary of life as I usually do. This is my 23rd summer and I should live up to it. Which I actually do! In these rough times, I enjoy life about as much as I did in my childhood. It's just so very different from what I used to know, and I think my understanding of things will change continuously as I keep growing older. There won't be another 23rd summer for me, nor one that feels about the same. That is kind of tragic and amazing at the same time... and terrifying as well. You can't turn back time. I won't be this young ever again. Sooner or later, I will die. Just not deliberately, at the age of 24, as I planned to about six or seven years ago. Death will have to come get me itself, and from now on, until that moment, I shall live life to the fullest.
Seize the day!

I know how they used to sing about me.

She's ugly but she loves her face,

She loves her so-called style,

I see her standing next to me,

I hate to see her smile.

Her curly hair, her angry look, 

that twinkle in her eyes,

The chest she moved, the head she shook,

a devil in disguise.

A slap to her cheek, punch to her chin,

See the dropping glass!
My eyes they narrow, fill with tears,

My hands are full of scars,

"You hit the mirror! Dumb and blind,

And now you see, it's true,

That ugly girl, the one you mind,

That devil, it was you.

"A sea of blood and tears to your feet,

Drown in your own hate!

This self-hatred, it killed your heart,

To see this was your fate."

And nothing can be taken back

By nothing I can see,

I'll kill the one I hate for life - 

And this night, that is

me.

(01/2009)